My room smells like vodka and shame
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
