After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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