3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
