She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
