They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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