windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
