...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
