if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
