Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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