too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
