he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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