As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
pray to the hookup gods
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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