Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
