So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
