Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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