So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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