D3 body, D1 cock
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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