Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
