Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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