I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My feet surprised me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
