why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
