i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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