Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
