Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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