Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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