I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
