dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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