I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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