....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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