using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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