A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
