TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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