So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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