She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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