Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
