he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
