I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
