Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
