Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
