I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
