She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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