All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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