3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
