I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
