why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
