About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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