I don't think brook has ever known best
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
