My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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