There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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