we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
