Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
